Her Journal
by XxVampireVioletxX
Summary: What would Hermione do if six years ago some one saved her as her world fell apart? Would she let go? Full summary inside. HPOV DMHG DARK Harry Ignores OoTP,HBP,DH title sucks Read! Enjoy! Review! Please?
1. Chapter 1

For readers of _Dream Sequence_ this is a new story I'm writing in between chapter updates. The next Chapter for DS will be up soon I assure you. As for this story, I got the inspiration from a fellow FanFictioner's Myspace page. The description Hermione gives in the beginning is almost word for word from Katie's Myspace and is basically how I feel Hermione would act if Harry were dark.

Hermione's parent's sent her to counsiling because they were concerned for her mental health. Mrs. Kabble, her therapist, tell hers to start a journal about what has happened, how she feels, what she thinks is wrong with her, etc. As she writes and becomes more comfortable with the situation, hidden feelings arise for certain people, surpressed memories come back to her, and she realizes certain people's action had underlying meanings. And of course there's vampires! Enjoy! Review!

_Dear Journal, _

_My name is Hermione Granger. I am my parents' only child and I am a witch previously attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm new to this whole 'journaling' thing and I'm not really sure that I will keep it up but I am going to try, my psychologist says it is a good idea. She says that the first thing I should do upon getting this is write down every thing I thing is wrong with me, so here it goes:_

_I'm a psychopath and a sociopath. I love vampires. I want to BE a vampire. Not many people can say they been through what I have. I hate when people tell me I'm wrong. I hate people who say that I don't know pain because I do. I hate people who think they are better than me because they aren't. I absolutely abhor preps and poseurs. I'm a Slytherin at heart. Only four people have seen me cry. I dislike everything about myself but refuse to change a thing. People say I'm mean, they're usually right. Only two people know my life story, one of them is me. If you think I'm retarded then you're only off by a little, I prefer to be called mentally insane. The world hates me :) why am I so lucky? I love scary movies. I'm a cynical pessimistic clinically depressed emo girl. I'm a pathological liar. I'm obsessed with painting my nails. I didn't used to have OCD. I hate when things aren't a total of an even number or a number divisible by five. My best friends in the entire world are dead. I hate Harry Potter; he's the one who killed them. I have one more flaw that I can find but a lot of people think I'm just crazy for this: I am in love with a Malfoy._

_My therapist thinks that the feeling is one of suppression; that it will go away with time or something like that. Personally I think she just saw his picture and got jealous. Ummmmm what else should I write about my self? Oh, I am a bookworm as well as a know it all. I had the highest marks in Hogwarts' history,. I despised Professor Trelawny. And that's all I can really think about my self right now. _

_My parents are Muggles or non-magic folk, of course Mrs. Kabble (my psychologist) knows all about magic and what not so I don't need to hide any of this from her. Anyways, my parents are having me see a psychologist for two reasons. One, I have suppressed hatred for the man who killed my best friends then joined the Dark side: Harry Potter. And two because they think I'm going crazy, which I am. You see during the war I found refuge in an enemy's arms and the feeling has never really subsided. These feeling have driven me mad, to a point where I can't function in everyday life anymore but I'll go into detail about that later, right now I am going to talk about what happened in the war._

_The night my life really fell apart was December 11th at precisely 9:30 pm. Ron, Ginny, Luna, Neville, and a few others as well as myself joined that traitor Potter to fight a band of Death Eaters that were about to attack Diagon Alley. Well we were waiting in the Three Broomsticks for them to make their first move but it never came. Potter decided to go outside in the snow and see what was going on, if our source had been wrong or if the Death Eaters knew of our counter attack. About five minutes after Potter's departure, we heard crashing noises coming from the back of the Three Broomsticks. We all turned to see if it was the Death Eaters trying to surprise us and sure enough, it was but they weren't hiding their faces and they weren't in a sporadic attacking mode oh no! They were in a group behind Harry Potter himself and he was smiling, smiling about the fact that the Death Eaters were standing behind him!! We were all very confused by this so one of our group members asked Harry what was going on._

" _Isn't it obvious?" he replied smugly to whoever asked the question. " I'm getting rid of the enemy."_

" _But Harry," I started to say, " the enemy is behind you!"_

" _No it isn't Hermione, I'm looking at the enemy. All my life its been people like you who have bossed me around and told me I had to save the world from Voldemort and the Dark side of the Wizarding world but not anymore! I realized something; I don't have to listen to any of you! All you want is for me to be your puppet, your little guard, and the guy you send to protect you when some thing goes wrong! Not any more! I have put up with Dumbledore's and Sirius' and Lupin's shit about me being the 'BoyWhoLived' for far to long and I'm over it, the Dark side accepts me." He told us all, a fire burning behind his emerald eyes. I remember everything about that night, how Harry told us how he killed Voldemort only to replace him, how the Death Eaters had known about this plan for months. He told us everything he had every wanted had come true in joining the Dark side and that he was the new person to beat, he told us that he, Harry James Potter, was the new Dark Lord. I remember him whispering to the Death Eaters behind him, to Lucius Malfoy and his son Draco as well as Bellatrix Lestrange. He commanded Pansy Parkinson, Crabbe, and Goyle to barricade the doors. They nodded and immediately did as they were told, like they were all old friends of his._

" _You know," he said directly to Ron and me, " the sorting hat always did say I would do great things in Slytherin, funny you wouldn't think he would actually be right."_

_That was the last time we ever talked to the real Harry Potter. He then proceeded to raid Diagon Alley and pillage Gringotts. He tied the whole group up inside the Three Broomsticks and left us there for hours. We didn't say a word to each other, we all felt as though this was, in some way, our fault. I remember Luna being the one to break the silence._

" _At least he hasn't decided to kill us." She said trying to lighten the atmosphere._

" _Shhh Luna, we don't want to give him any ideas." Ginny warned, struggling with her bonds. Moments later Lucius Malfoy returned with Bellatrix's husband._

" _How does it feel to be captured?" Lucius hissed at Ron. I didn't say a word. Lucius and Rodolphus dragged Ron, Neville, Seamus, and Dean out of the room by their ropes, it was the last time I ever saw them. As for Lavender, Ginny, Luna, Cho Chang, Hannah Abott and myself, we sat in the Three Broomsticks front room. We sat waiting, waiting for or Lucius or Rodolphus or somebody to comeback for us. No one came, not until morning. Professor Snape was the one to find us. Apparently, he had managed to escape Harry's raid of the Death Eaters after Voldemort's demise and coaxed the former Golden Boy's plans from Peter Pettigrew._

_Snape untied all of us and we started for Hogwarts. Halfway up the path we were ambushed by Bellatrix Lestrange, her husband, Lucius Malfoy and Harry. Ironically, Snape was the first one to go down followed by Hannah and Lavender. Cho Chang surrendered to Harry and begged for her life in exchange for a lifetime of servitude, he complied. Bellatrix cackled and asked if any one else wished to convert. Luna, Ginny and I shook our heads and waited for death, Harry had taken our wands. He laughed reverently; I guess he was admiring our devotion to the Light._

" _Well it is safe to say that no one expected it to be me, Harry Potter that would turn in to Voldemort's prodigy." He laughed psychotically before pointing his wand at Luna's innocent face. " It always is a tad hard to eliminate the innocent ones, yet I'm not sorry." With that, he shouted the Killing Curse and Luna fell. Ginny squealed and a teasr fell down her cheeks; I wish I could have comforted her._

" _Ginny, my little Ginny. I really have nothing to say to you. Hmph, oh well. Crucio!" Harry shouted and Ginny fell to the floor writhing in pain. I screamed for her and attempted to tackle Harry to stop the curse but I was thrown back by one of his Neo-Death Eater's curses. She screamed for every family member she had and then for me. I cried for her pain and begged Harry to stop but the glint in his eye grew as did her screams._

" _Enough my Lord!" Rodolphus shouted, "You'll drive her mad like my dear Bella did to the Longbottoms."_

"_Precisely! But if you feel she deserves another degree of punishment, you have my permission to do as you se fit." Harry drawled lifting the curse. Rodolphus motioned to his wife and they dragged Ginny away, kicking and screaming, leaving only me, Harry and Lucius._

" _Lucius, if you could kindly leave me and take Cho here to Headquarters that would be much appreciated."_

" _As you wish." Lucius replied to Harry then apparated to their Headquarters._

" _And then there was one."_

" _Why are you doing this Harry, all you had to do was ask and we would have stopped pressuring you. Please, stop this." I tired to reason with him._

"_Really? That's all it would have taken?" He mocked, "I really don't care." He reached his hand out and tucked a strand of lose hair behind my ear. I trembled slightly._

" _You really were the brightest witch of our age Hermione, I'll give you that. It is a pity to have to lose such a fine mind. Draco!" He screamed, and the blonde appeared diligently. It was so ironic that Draco Malfoy of all people was bowing down to his long time rival that a tiny laugh escaped my lips._

" _Yes my Lord?" He answered._

" _Take Miss Granger here to…" He gave Draco a knowing look, " and see that she is taken care of properly." He nodded to Draco and looked back at me._

"_Goodbye Hermione." Harry said sickeningly sweet to me before vanishing with a pop._

_I guess that's as far as I'll go for now,_ _Mrs. Kabble will have fun reading over all of this. She is going to start thinking I really am insane. I'm not quite sure how to really end this whole, journaling thing so I guess I'll just sign my name or something._

_Er, until next time,_

_Hermione Granger._


	2. Chapter 2

For readers of _Dream Sequence _this is a new story I'm writing in between chapter updates. The next Chapter for DS will be up soon I assure you. As for this story, I got the inspiration from a fellow FanFictioner's Myspace page.

Hermione's parent's sent her to counseling because they were concerned for her mental health. Mrs. Kabble, her therapist, tell hers to start a journal about what has happened, how she feels, what she thinks is wrong with her, etc. As she writes and becomes more comfortable with the situation, hidden feelings arise for certain people, suppressed memories come back to her, and she realizes certain people's action had underlying meanings. And of course there's vampires! Enjoy! Review! Please?

Disclaimer: No, Unfortunately I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters...crys... No I am not making any money off of this Fanfiction. The only things I own of this stories contents are: the plot, _Her Journal_, Mrs. Kabble, and Robert Pince... for now anyway... Once again enjoy!!

_Dear Journal,_

_Mrs. Kabble read my first entry and was really impressed that I could write all of that down. I am to really. She suggested that I write about something else this session and start referring to my journal as a 'person' so to speak; so that is exactly what I'm going to try to do. Well, ummm. Hmmmm. This might be harder than I thought. I could talk about my parents I guess. My mother's name is Elaine Granger Pince. She has curly brown hair, blue eyes and glasses. We don't talk that much anymore even though she live upstairs. My father's name was Mark, he died when I has four. Like me he was a bookworm, and a know it all. I take pride in that. He had brown hair, brown eyes and my nose. My mother always told me I was my father's daughter, she and I don't even look related. My stepfather, Robert Pince, is blind. Has been all of his life. He tells me that I'm his beautiful princess everyday of my life. I _**don't **_call him father or dad or daddy. I call him Robert and he calls me Minny. We get along smashingly. Enough about them I guess, maybe I should talk about the Second reason my parentals have sent me to Mrs. Kabble. I am obsessing over the man who saved me. _

_Now I'm not going to reveal who it is, not _**yet **_anyway. You see, blinding son it feels weird to write that; anyway, when Harry vanished Malfoy didn't take me straight to 'the place'. No, he dropped me off at an abandoned Hogs Head and told me to wait there. I'm sure he put wards on the place to make sure I didn't go anywhere, he didn't trust me six years ago... Any who, when Draco came back three hours later, he caught me crying._

_"Give it a rest Granger." He said after I refused to leave or even move for that matter. I just stared at him, empty, defeated, and sobbing. Not a single emotion appeared on his face, just the plain blank stare he always gave me._

_" Well do you want me to drag you or are you going to come with me freely?" he asked growing impatient._

_" Just apparate."_

_" Can't Granger, Potter made sure of that, for me at least. Anyone under 23, except for him, has been stripped of their apparation capabilities to our... sanctum as it were." he explained picking at his nails._

_" Then you might as well kill me Malfoy... I don't have a reason to live anymore. Your lord took them all away."_

_" As much as I may **want**_ _to dispose of you, it is against my orders. We don't have much time left Granger, we have to leave_ _whether you want to or not._ **Stupify!**_"_

_I don't really remember much after he cast the spell, just alot of hovering and cursing. I had no idea where we were and I didn't care. What I do remember is feeling... what's the word I'm looking for... feeling lost I guess. Confused of some sorts really. It was all too much for me to handle at the time._

_He never did take me to whre ever it was. Instead he took me in a circle back to the Three Broomsticks._

_" This is your.. sanctum did you call it?" I said when I could function again._

_" No. This is where I'm lettin' you go and where you are going to kill me." He stated simply taking off the long trench coat like thing he had on over his robes. He threw me a credit card and a wad of something green. Then he handed me his wand before sitting down in the only remaining booth of the destroyed cafe._

_" I'm not going to kill you Malfoy." I told him stunned._

_" Yes you are or we both die."_

_"Why?"_

_" Because Granger, if you don't kill me then I'll have to kill you which inturn will cause my death, do you see where your refusal is leading us to?" he asked._

_"I'm not going to murder you."_

_" Then I'll just have to obliterate you then won't I? If I let you live and you don't killl me you might let it slip that I asked for death which I would then be killed for."_

_I sat there silent._

_I think that is enough about him for today's writing to you think? Still weird... hmmm... Well if you haven't figured it out yet, Draco saved me. Maybe I should continue on about him... Mrs. Kabble might get confused if I just stop in the middle of the story._

_" Why would they kill you for killing me? And why would it matter if you asked for death... you didn't do anything against them did you?" _

_" That doesn't matter now! Just kill me please, it will save both of us alot of trouble!" He practically begged, but I just dropped his wand and fell to the ground._

_" No."_

_" Fine! Bloody fine! If you won't kill me then we have to leave right now!" he just gave up. _

_He was confusing me even more than before. Mumbling about losing his head or something like that. He grabbed my hand, wand in tow and quite literally dragged me out of the Three Broomsticks and towards the path way leading from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts. _

_" What are you doing Draco?" I asked a bit to loudly for his liking. I found his hand over my mouth within a decisecond._

_" You've got to be quiet Granger. Alright?" was all he said before he proceeded to drag me off into the darkness._

_Now that is a good place to end. I can pick up right where I left off next time :) Mrs. Kabble should have fun reading through this._

_I feel much better now that I know I'm not fully insane, I had a feeling I had imagined most of this but I can recall all of this so vividly, IT HAS TO BE TRUE._

_See You Soon,_

_Hermione Granger_


	3. Chapter 3

For readers of _Dream Sequence, _this is a story I'm writing in between chapter updates. The next Chapter for DS will be up soon I assure you. As for this story, I got the inspiration from a fellow FanFictioner's Myspace page.

Summary: Hermione's parent's sent her to counseling because they were concerned for her mental health. Mrs. Kabble, her therapist, tell hers to start a journal about what has happened, how she feels, what she thinks is wrong with her, etc. As she writes and becomes more comfortable with the situation, hidden feelings arise for certain people, suppressed memories come back to her, and she realizes certain people's action had underlying meanings. And of course there's vampires! Enjoy! Review! Please?

Disclaimer: No, Unfortunately I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters...crys... No I am not making any money off of this Fanfiction. The only things I own of this story's contents are: the plot, _Her Journal_,and Mrs. Kabble... for now anyway... Once again enjoy!!

_Dear Journal,_

_She things I'm crazy I know it!! Mrs. Kabble _has _to think I'm crazy! She started laughing at my last entry... laughing!! Hysterically actually... seriously she was bloody laughing!! Well she'll know what I think about the situation now... great job Hermione really... wonderful.. I'm talking to myself through my journal. That's even more wonderful!_

_Anyway... gods I hate life, it is out to get me. But getting back to the last entry... _

_"You've got to be quiet Granger. Alright?" he said before proceeding to drag me further into the darkness._

_"Where are we going?" I whispered so low I doubted he could hear me__, until he replied of course._

_"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I do believe you've been there before... on a little boat or on a carriage drawn by invisible horses perhaps?" he said still winding up the path. I said nothing, just stood there. He had incorrectly identified the "invisible horses" as he called them._

_" Are you coming or am I going to have to ask for help from my Brethren?" he sighed, completely un-Malfoy like._

_" Where did you go earlier?" I inquired walking closer to him. " When you left me at me HogsHead, were did you go?"_

_" To make it look like I was on task, now if you would kindly stop asking such ridiculous questions and be bloody quiet, we might actually get to Hogwarts alive. What do you say?" he whispered haughtily. I sighed and complied._

_Soon I found myself glancing on the familiar sight of Hogwarts' towers. We were so close to being safe._

_"MALFOY!" a familiar voice interrupted my wishful thinking._

_" Yes my Lord?" Draco replied to the figure._

_" Why is it taking you so long to report back to the Sanctum?"_

_" Ran into a bit of trouble back at the HogsHead. Had to... dispose of some evidence as it were."_

_"Ahhhh I see." Potter said back lazily. He didn't see, he was blind. How could he just completely be oblivious to Malfoy's lie?_

_" I figured I would take the longer way back as to not run into any more trouble." Draco bluffed._

_" And you think your not going to 'run into' anymore trouble walking right past Hogwarts?" Potter questioned scathingly._

_" No my Lord, not if Granger and I can keep to the shadows and quiet." He looked back at me for show. _

_" I need you to be back at the Sanctum within the hour, is that understood Malfoy?"_

_" Yes."_

_" Good."_

_After Potter's departure Draco let off a slew of profanities and threw a rather confusing temper tantrum which could have woken the dead._

_" ...This means that my spell didn't work!" He shouted to no one. I stood behind him waiting for a command._

_" We need to run... now." He said in a normal voice to me before seizing my hand and sprinting the rest of the way to the school. He ran with such an intensity I could hardly follow. I wasn't running behind him, I was being dragged. When we did reach the outskirts of the school we were greeted by none other than Severus Snape himself, who made to usher me into the school with out my consent._

_" No." I whispered._

_" Miss Granger please! This is not the time for one of your I-don't-need-your-help phases!" Snape was already agitated with me for some reason._

_Draco had a surprising change of heart at this moment, he began looking at me with earnest and begged me to just walk in side._

_" I brought you here for a reason, it is safe and you can stay here until the times comes to fight. I, on the other hand, cannot stay and you do not want to witness what now has to happen. Just go I beg of you." he pleaded. It was then that I noticed how tired he was. Dark circles under his eyes, his skin paler than usual. He was leaning on Professor Snape for his life, like if he were to let go he would fall into a deep sleep that he wouldn't awake from._

_" No." I whispered again. _

_Draco sighed and put his head down. _

_" Just do it," he said to Snape " maybe she'll leave once she sees." He lifted his head up and regained some of his composure._

_"Sectumsempra!" Snape shouted and Draco writhed in pain for a minute before Snape healed him._

_I looked between the both of them for a moment then started mumbling incoherently._

_" If you cast the curse enough times and heal it in the proper amount of time it will leave a few irreversible scars." Snape explained._

_" That won't work you dolts!" I shouted at them. Didn't they remember Draco's sixth year? Harry used the same spell on him!_

_"I have various spells that do the same thing Miss Granger. Draco brought up the same concern, Potter won't have the faintest." _

_More spell were cast, and Malfoy began to bleed profusely. Like he promised, Snape healed them and they did indeed leave scars. Various times Draco dropped to the ground and held his head. He tossed his whole body in fits and shook violently. _

_I didn't say anything, I just stared in disbelief. Tears slid down my cheeks.Was this why they wanted me to go inside? What was the point of this? I was brought back from my thoughts by a rough grunt from Draco, now on the ground, spinning about on his right shoulder, black mark across his back_

_" You really don't want to know Miss Granger." Snape warned, casting the counter to the jinx. _

_" Why are you doing this?" I pleaded with a hoarse voice. Draco panted from the ground._

_" If he returns to... H.a.r.r.y. like this, he can say their was an ambush from old follower, the one who did to H.a.r.r.y.'s way of running thing, who still believe in Voldemort. He really hates them. He can also say that you escaped to Hogwarts and that I saved him."_

_" Oh. " it was a smart plan. " Why o you keep spelling his name?" I asked. I figured out the answer before Snape answered me though._

_" The name is taboo. What next Draco?" he asked, rolling his eyes at me._

_"Crucio. Then that bone breaking one." he panted, obviously still experiencing the affects of the previous curse. He looked up at me and attempted to smirk. It was painful for him. Snape noticed and shook his head. He sighed._

_"As you wish... Crucio!" Snape shouted and Draco feel to his knees. I stared in horror at his expression. I didn't even like this boy and I wanted to personally kill Snape for hurting him._

_Draco let out a simple hiss, like when someone burns them selves on a pan. Snape stopped. He didn't even give Draco a chance to stand up before he cast the final curse. Draco felt it, I heard it, and Snape didn't regret it, Draco__'s leg was definitely broken. Malfoy feel back onto his right shoulder and began to tremble.A small seizure maybe? I'm not sure._

_" This why you should have gone inside Hermione." Snape said to me before stupefying Draco and kneeling down beside him._

_They were gone with a pop..._

_

* * *

_

Wow, that brings back painful memories. I hate reliving that in my head, I sometimes think it's happening to Draco all over again. Well that is enough for now I guess. Oh no!! I have left tear stains on my paper! Isn't that lovely... I'll surely get interviewed about that by Mrs. Kabble...

Hermione


End file.
